Its been about a week since my Dad passed away... The first few
days, I was basically laying in a puddle of tears, not eating or
drinking hardly anything. Eyes constantly red and puffy. Hoping that
Dad's spirit would be watching me and see how horrible I was doing, and
decide that he didn't want to leave right now... Hoping I would get a
call that he suddenly and miraculously sat up! And everything was going
to be ok. Even hoping that it was all just a big prank to get me to
go back home (since he was begging me to come home)...
But
as another day goes by and I hear one more thing about his funeral and
all the arrangements being made regarding his house and belongings... I
realize that is not going to happen.
All this on top
of the fact that my living situation is not permanent at all right
now... Or stable. I have to take my next paycheck with all the money
that was donated to me (which I can access on January 19th) and just fly
out to California. I'll have to stay at a neighbor's house while I
pack up all my stuff out of Dad's house and put it all in my car.
Then...
I don't know what I will do! I don't know if I will come back here, or
if I will stay in California and look for a job. If I do that, I will
be living out of my car, until I find a job. Then even still, until I
get my first paycheck.
I just wasn't prepared for any of this and I'm not sure how I'm gonna handle it all.
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